It's Better to Have Boundaries Than Be A People Pleaser

Hands up if you consider yourself a people pleaser?

Guilty!

For me, it was about avoidance of confrontation. I don't like arguing, I don't like shouting and I don't like it when people don't like me.

So, I would people please. Say 'yes' to things I didn't really want to do, offer to help people when i should have been doing something else, not waiting to put people out by asking for help when I needed it....the list goes on.

Sometimes it feels like people pleasing is the easier route, but at what cost?

Effectively, people pleasing is being inauthentic. In trying to please others we are abandoning our own wants and desires and telling other people that their opinion of us matters more than our own opinions of ourselves.

We are handing over our power, circumnavigating our own boundaries and, ultimately, disregarding our own health and wellness.

How many times have you taken on more than you could at work? Sacrificing time with your partner and family in order to act the good employee?

How many times have you said yes to going to an event with a friend that you really didn't want to go to, just to act the good friend?

How often do you put aside your self care time to take care of your family / clean the house / do laundry / wash up etc etc to appear the domesticated homesteader?

All of these activities that are out of alignment with what you know to be good for you, take their toll. Abandoning self-care time leaves you tired, grumpy, resentful and stressed. Doing extra work or going places you don't want to go lead to you wasting self care time! Time you could spend doing activities you enjoy or with people you love.

Next time someone asks for help or a favor, retain your boundaries, try saying yes only if you actually want to. You might end up being surprised with the reaction when people learn that you will be holding your boundaries and putting yourself first......leaning in to your authenticity.